Welcome to Joker's Homepage, where you can find Predators, Aliens, Jokes, Arcade Emulators, Trivia, Useless Data, Downloads... basically everything. 

A Random Jokermercial

Start at the Beginning
Formal Introduction
The Main Event
Old News Archives
Who's this Joker anyway?
Joker's Image Gallery
Feedback / Contact Me

Today's Bill of Fare

The Hunted
What is the Predator's code of honour? Which comics are available? Where's the movie soundtrack? The Hunted contains everything and anything that's Predator-related, along with free downloads (images, audio etc).

Emily Hope
This new addition is a page just for our beautiful baby girl, Emily Hope. There's only a few photos at the moment, but there'll be a lot more to come (if I don't run out of space on my server). And don't worry, she's very cute to see - this won't be one of those boring family slide-show nights!

Shelley & Jesse's Wedding
Do you want to know how to plan and execute a perfect wedding, or are you an incurable romantic? Well even if you're not, have a look at how Shelley and Jesse's Wedding just fell beautifully into place.

Bits and Pieces
The Worst Pick-Up Lines, Linkworld, The Big Questions, Joker Images, Miscellaneous Downloads - there's really no limit to the amount of Bits and Pieces you'll find within this weird and wonderful page.

Alien Host
From the gestation period of a chestburster, to the contents of the U.S. Colonial Marine's armoury... all you need to know about the Aliens trilogy is found in Alien Host... downloads, images and movie info.

Emulation Plus... plus what? Well, in addition to many downloads and links for system emulators (C64, Commodore Amiga and Arcade Machines), there's also plenty of information and help to get you started.

Where the hell is... ?
Joker site: Search
Joker site: Map

powered by

Self-proclaimed winner of 'Slowest Site Update Award' and 'Gold Medal Award for Slackness'


You have travelled into the past... Yesterday
The Main Event page was getting too long - so I had to put most of it onto this Archived News page.

So, if you want to read this old news, feel free... but you should start reading from the bottom of the page so it makes (some) sense!

Mother Nature shows her furious power again  26th Dec 04
Deepest condolensces to anoyone affected by the terrible Asian tsunami, and major praise for the relief workers and financial donaters who are helping the cause. Once again, humanity is humbled by a force that's more powerful than any of us. And at least, amongst all the stories of disaster, there were great stories of survival against the odds... we shall overcome.

Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year  25th Dec 04
Okay, so it's been a while between updates here - but it's not like I've been doing nothing! The wildly popular Predator: The Hunted has been taking up a lot of time with updates and additions, and it shows, in both the quality of the site and the amount of visitors. Thanks everyone! And have a Merry Christmas, okay?

Facehuggers and Chestbursters  17th August 04
After conducting a little poll on Predator: The Hunted, I discovered that my Aliens site needed upgrading too. I couldn't put it off any longer - so I now present the new and improved Alien Host. Unlike politicians, I listen to the needs of the masses... don't say I never do anything for you lot! ;)

We have lift off! 22nd July 04
Finally, after hassles with my ISP and massive updating of pages, the site is launched! There's been a total re-design to Predator: The Hunted and many upgrades to all other pages. If for some reason you had any in your bookmarks or favourites, you'll need to make sure they're up to date. Sorry. Not.

I don't look a day over 40 25th June 04
Wow. So THIS is what it feels like to be 30 years old. Hmm. Well to be honest, I don't feel any older than I did as a teenager. I suppose I wasn't expecting anything life-changing (that comes later when the mid-life crisis hits) but I'm glad I made it to 30... a lot of us don't.

Everyone's favourite hi-tech hunter is back 23rd February 04
Woo, here's hoping the newest Predator/Alien movie won't bomb TOO much... or at all!!

The premise: "The Predators use Earth for their rituals and every 1000 years, they drop five teenage predators off at an Alien-infested pyramid to fight and earn their 'warrior status'. Now in the 21st century, a group of scientists and archaeologists travel to Antarctica and discover ancient pyramid ruins."

Could be good... this will either kick-start new interest in these well-known aliens, or bury them. Fingers crossed! For more info, see the official Alien Vs. Predator site, or my tribute site Predator: The Hunted.

Married with Children 31st January 04
Let the bells peal and the rice fly... I've married my fiancé of 5 years in a truly magical day in January. Thought I'd never find a nice girl and settle down? Well it had to happen some day, and I could never find a nicer girl than the one that's wearing my ring on her finger. Expect the wedding site with photos shortly... but in the meantime, please leave your gifts on the table, have some champagne and join the bridal waltz :)

Should old acquaintance be forgot... 1st January 04
Happy New Year all! I know these good wishes come too late but better late than never. (If my New Year's resolution was to update this page more frequently, I guess I've well and truly broken it...)

Get ready to rrrumble  1st July 03
Alright, I think things are coming along nicely with this new web-site-page-thingy. Just need to get a few photos, as the ones that were on here were a few years old :/

Also added a few links to LiNKWoRLD, tidied up Alien Host and The Hunted, and fixed some request forms. Phew. Now back to the grindstone...

We need longer years  25th June 03
Yes, once again it's my birthday. Yay! And I reckon I'll know about it on the Saturday after my party :)

Not the big 3-0 yet... still another year to go. Although I suppose 29 is a decent milestone, but I'd be happy if I was turning 19 again. Or 9 for that matter.

The C64 rocks... literally  20th May 03
How did I never come across this sooner?

In their own words: "PRESS PLAY ON TAPE is a Commodore 64 revival band based in Copenhagen, exclusively playing tunes from the old home computer Commodore 64 which had its prime days in the late 80s."

Check out the stuff on the Press Play On Tape Website. With some musical classics like Krakout, Commando and Auf Wiedersehen Monty already under their belts, they can only get better!

Zzap! Back  17th Mar 03
The definitive C64 magazine, UK's Zzap!64, has had a new lease on life with the release of the digital Zzap!#107.

An enormous global effort by the still-huge fanbase, the latest Zzap! brings back the big man Gordon Houghton as editor, and features many old (and new) Zzap! features that will bring a tear to the eye of anyone who ever had a fondness for this legendary magazine.

See it for yourself at The Def Guide to Zzap!64.

To war, or not to war  14th Mar 03
Shame this world's gotten so twisted that no-one knows what's right or wrong anymore. There's pros and cons for pushing a war on terror, but there's something to be said for waiting until we can see what power poses the real threat - "All we are saying, is give peace a chance" (thanx John).

And my personal view? Well... I'll just sit on the fence. It's not like the future of the Earth lies with us, the general populace, anyway. 

New LiNKWoRLD citizen

 10th Mar 03

A big hello to our newest inhabitant of Linkworld, the lovely Goddess of Dreams.

Nice to have you aboard, Goddess... you seem to be one of the few sweet dreams left in this nightmare world we live in.

It's time for a change

 20th Feb 03

In the many years since its inception, I think it's time that the Homepage had a bit of an upgrade. Actually, it needs some hefty remodelling. Nah, strike those... it needs total demolishing and rebuilding from scratch!

I've got the blueprints, it's now up to the construction engineer (ie. me) to make the dream a reality. Wish me luck.

A few minor adjustments...

 3rd Jan 02

Welcome to Joker's Homepage V2.0 - direct from its first major overhaul in a year or so. It's all up and running... but as you can see from the icon above, the site is pretty much always under construction.

Please feel free to peruse the site at your leisure - view the links, download the files, whatever. Just remember to sign my guestbook so I can find out how bad the site is :)

All sites made entirely by Jesse Aherne, best viewed at 800x600 or higher. Last updated August 2009
Comments and questions
welcome (even hate mail or bomb threats... they can be pretty entertaining too).