This 100-question chain-letter email was floating
around many years ago, when I was new to the 'Net.
Unfortunately I didn't have the time or inclination to ever complete
it and send it to anyone -- mainly coz I didn't know enough people
to send it to -- but I came across it again recently and thought
"What the hell."
I also thought, "That's a better idea than to try and write
an interesting biography from scratch."
So here it is. This is me. Enjoy.
(And if it's photos you're after, check
Joker's Image Gallery and you'll
Jesse Willis Aherne. Call me Jesse, Jess, Jesta... just don't
spell it wrong. I hate my female pseudonyms "Jessie"
and "Jessy". Grr.
Well, since I dislike the female spellings in the above question,
one must naturally assume I'm masculine. But assumptions aside,
25th June 1974 in Fitzroy, Victoria, but I've lived in Tasmania
(you know, that little triangular island under Australia) for
most of my life.
4. What is your favorite color?
Blue. No, wait - green. No, wait - purple. Oh, I don't know -
can I say "rainbow colour"? Fine, blue then.
5. What is your favorite kind of gum?
Anything minty-fresh. I don't much
like the yummy tasting stuff - it makes me want to eat it instead
of chew it.
6. How much do you weigh?
About 69kg. Don't ask me what it is in pounds.
7. How tall are you?
About 5'11". Don't ask me what it is in centimetres.
8. Disneyworld or Disneyland?
Disneyland rocks. I never got to Disneyworld, but I reckon it'd
be a case of "the original is best". I'm 0ldsk00l at
9. Do you like to swim?
Yeah, good fun. Totally relaxing, floating in a low-gravity
environment. Not ecstatic about really cold water tho.
11. What's on your mouse pad?
Coffee stains, some worn-out patches, and creases where the
material is peeling off... maybe I need a new mouse pad.
10. Living arrangement?
Happy ratepayer of suburbia, slowly decreasing the interest
of a mortage. Another 20 years or so and I'll own a house.
12. Favorite board game?
Board games - ah yes, I remember those. I was kinda partial
to Monopoly, but for the life of me I can't remember which other
ones I played.
13. Favorite magazine?
Good question... not a real big magazine reader. I'd say computer
magazines in general, but that'd make me sound like a real nerd.
14. Favorite Actor?
Only one? I can't decide. Old favourites are Eddie Murphy, Christopher Lloyd, Jackie
Chan, Harrison Ford and Arnold Schwarzenegger (in no particular
15. Favorite Actress?
Same deal as before. Sigourney Weaver, Jodie Foster, Drew Barrymore,
Wynona Ryder and Gillian Anderson.
16. Do you have an accent?
Depends. Here in Australia, I sound like everyone else. But in
America, I sound like an Aussie bloke. Apparently it's noticeable.
17. Favorite smells?
Freshly mowed grass, clean sheets, coconut oil, and new vehicle/electrical
18. Least favorite smells?
Meat that's going bad, overfilled ashtrays the next morning,
heavy petrol fumes, and organic fertiliser.
19. Favorite sound?
Probably the sound of rain on the roof, heard from the comfort
of a nice warm bed.
20. Do you prefer pools or oceans?
Well, they both have pros and cons. Pools are alright, but I
hate the chlorine. The ocean is good, but there are stinging
jellyfish in it...
21. Do you watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer?
Only if i decide to see if it's gotten any better since last
time I watched it. I much preferred Dark Angel myself, if it
comes to fantasy-type series.
22. Pencil or pen?
In this day and age, I hate having to write at all... quicker
and neater to Type and Print. But pen, I suppose.
23. Who's better - boys or girls?
This question sounds like I'm back in 3rd grade. But in reality
(sorry, my fellow guys) I'd have to say girls are better, in
24. Would you like to own a motorcycle?
Why, are you giving one away? But sure, I reckon that would be
25. Do you sing in the shower?
I've been known to, on occasion. But since I don't much like
the sound of my own voice, I usually just hum.
26. Who's the best-looking Disney character?
Interesting question. I'd have to say that the Little Mermaid
is pretty cute...
27. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up
in the morning?
"I wish I'd gone to bed earlier so I could have had more
sleep!" or "Oh bugger it, I have to get out of bed!"
28. How many rings before you answer the phone?
Depends how close I am to it. Usually 4 or 5. Or more, if I know
who it is and I don't want to answer it.
29. How do you want to die?
Quickly, painlessly and contented.
30. Have you ever called a 900 number?
Once or twice, many years ago - before I realised that my parents
could tell what numbers were called, once they got the phone
31. Gold or silver?
Silver. Although gold fetches more per ounce.
32. Would you ever go bungee-jumping?
I'd love to try. I can't guarantee that I could jump without
hesitating a little at first... but the rush would be awesome.
33. Do you like dressing up?
Actually, in my mature years, I'm enjoying trying different clothing
styles. No cross-dressing though, I'm not that type.
34. Would you rather be short or tall?
I've been short and I've been tall. I prefer tall.
35. Do you enjoy reading?
Contemporary reading? Like a book? Sure, although it's hard to
find the time these days. Internet reading/research is a fun
36. What book are you reading now?
None right now... but the last one was the first four 'Hitch Hiker's Guide to The Galaxy' books by Douglas Adams (RIP!). I can't believe I hadn't read them sooner, after being a fan of the 80s TV series. The Disney movie was poor, though. And another recent book was 'I, Robot' by Asimov. Although some of his predicted technology wasn't realised, the philosophies themselves are still possible and very thought provoking - and in general, the stories are better than Will Smith's movie!
37. Favorite books?
Mysterious World - Arthur C Clarke; Deathtrap Dungeon - Steve
Jackson; The Best of the Lucasfilm Archives - Mark Cotta Vaz
& Shinji Hata
38. What was the last movie you saw?
On TV: an interesting Bruce Willis movie, 'Harts War' which was a good twist on the old 'Allied POWs escape German prison camp' storyline. And at the Cinema: 'Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.' (Yes, I don't get to the cinema very often.)
39. Favorite movies?
Predator, The Matrix, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Saving Private
Ryan, Back to the Future, House on Haunted Hill
40. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Nah, only women.
41. What is your sign?
I am what you'd call a typical Cancerian.
42. What are your personality traits?
"Cancerians are sensitive, kind and sympathetic with an
urge to nurture and care for people. Cancer also has a deep inferiority
complex, so that any hurt, real or imagined is brooded upon.
Cancer sometimes shows too a tendency to look back at, and hold
on to things of the past and can be a very possessive sign."
43. What's your biggest fear?
44. Would you ever have cosmetic surgery?
Not for a purely self-gratuitous reason. If it was medically
necessary, yeah... but not electively.
45. Future child's name?
Nothing definite. But tentatively - Jessica (Jess) for a girl,
and Tobias (Toby) for a boy.
As it turns out, neither -- it was Emily!
46. Favorite foods?
Ahh, food. While I'm partial to unhealthy cholesterol-filled
stuff, I also like lasagna, chinese dishes, seafood, hamburgers,
junk food (takeaway).
47. Chocolate or vanilla?
Chocolate. Through and through. But occasionally vanilla for
a change of pace.
48. Do you like to drive fast?
Yes I do. But since the local constabularly don't like
me to, I don't do it very often.
49. Storms - cool or scary?
Bloody great. Nothing better than watching (and listening to)
a massive thunderstorm.
50. Do you like to dance?
Well, I feel like I'm a concrete stick-insect when I strut my
stuff.... so as a result, I don't really like dancing. Except
for slow dancing.
through the questions. Not a wonder I never filled out this survey
before... it's taking days!)
51. Do you do drugs?
I refuse to answer on the grounds I may incriminate myself...
although yes, I have tried marijuana. But I didn't inhale!!
52. Do you smoke?
Although I'm what you'd call a 'reformed smoker' I have indeed been a slave to nicotine... but it wasn't my fault. The tobacco
companies got me addicted to them.
53. What do you think of people who smoke?
When I was a smoker, I thought we were a wonderful bunch of people... but seriously, not
all of them are very considerate when it comes to smoking around
people, or where they toss the butts.
54. Do you drink?
Sometimes. On special occasions. I used to drink more frequently
in my younger years, but these days hangovers are too fond of
55. Favorite drink?
Fanta... oh, you mean alcoholic?
Well, I don't really have a favourite - I used to say 'anything
Vodka based' but these days I love my Scotch and Dry on the rocks.
56. Do you think men and women could ever be just friends
without wanting each other?
Sure. Like if one of them is really ugly. Or if they were once
together then had a bad breakup. Or if one (or both) of them
were gay. Etc.
Sorry I can't answer seriously, but it's a naff question
57. Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
Well, yeah... it's part of the whole package. That'd be like
eating the burger and throwing away the bun. Or something.
58. If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be?
Probably some kind of backbench politician - the kind that seems
to do nothing, but can retire with thousands of bucks.
59. What's your "type"?
10pt Verdana or Arial. Oh, my type of person? I don't know...
someone the opposite of myself, I suppose. Really.
60. Do you bite your nails?
As a child, but not anymore. It's hard to play guitar without
using a plectrum, or scratch yourself, if you've got nailless
61. Any siblings?
Yup, I'm the eldest of three. A bro and a sis.
62. What movies have you cried in?
Recently, none. But I must admit, as a youngster I was a little
teary when I thought they'd blown up Number 5 (Short Circuit).
Well, I was only little!
63. Do you believe in God?
I believe there's more than likely some higher power of which
we have no understanding... whether it's God or not, I'm not
qualified to answer.
64. Did you ever cry over a guy/girl?
Yeah... after breaking up with my first true love. Awwww.
65. Favorite part-time job you've had?
I can only remember one - window signwriting for a butcher when I was
in high school. Pay was little if nothing, but it was an intro
to working life.
66. Do you procrastinate?
Hmm... I think I'll answer this question later.
67. Do you believe in fate?
I'd like to believe that we forge our own destiny - but I think
the fickle finger of fate often pokes us in the eye.
68. Who's your favorite Sesame Street character?
Woo, good question. I reckon I'd have to say ol' Ernie... or
Bert, for that matter. Those two always used to give me a laugh.
69. Do you organize your CD's?
Well, not as such. Grouped by artist, yeah, but not in alphabetical
order or anything.
70. What is your favorite kind of music?
No specific type. Lots of stuff, from bluegrass to metal.
71. What are your favorite bands/artists?
Primus, Meat Puppets, Whitlams, The Beatles, Spiderbait, Weezer,
Nirvana, They Might Be Giants and many others
72. What was the last CD you got?
'Rise To Your Knees' by The Meat Puppets. Gotta love those Kirkwood brothers!
73. MTV or VH1?
I liked MTV, when it played music videos. And I dunno what VH1
74. Who do you admire the most?
Probably my loving wife. Anyone who can put up with me as long as she
has deserves plenty of admiration.
75. Internet Boyfriends and Girlfriends?
Been there, done that. Too much emotional upheaval. Long distance
relationships don't really work either.
76. Are you single?
Symbiotic. We are two operating as one.
77. Favorite TV show?
At the moment, 'Lost'. Other faves are/were 'Heroes', 'The Amazing Race', 'Cold Feet', 'Dark Angel', 'Northern Exposure', and 'Dr Who'.
78. Blondes, Brunettes, or Redheads?
They say blondes have more fun... but brunettes. All the way.
79. Glasses or contacts?
Contacts were good, until the eye infections started. Preferring
not to look constantly stoned, it's glasses now.
80. What color are your eyes?
I think sorta grey/green. Not sure tho... it's hard to look at
81. What is your natural hair color?
A very standard brown colour. Sometimes darker, sometimes lighter,
but standard brown.
82. But what color is it now?
Still standard brown. Usually has blonde tips in it tho, which
reduces the monotony.
83. Have you ever been in love?
I have been in love, I have loved, and I have been loved.
84. Any pets?
Yup, we got a black cat with an attitude, an aquarium with lotsa
fish, and an aviary full of canaries, finches and parrots.
85. Good, decent, or poor grades?
Part-way between decent and poor. Mostly decent, once I realised
I really should apply myself.
86. Is the glass half empty or half full?
If it ever came to that situation, I'd rather just fill the glass
up and not worry about it.
87. Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?
Nope... but I have realised that regardless of using mainly 2
fingers on each hand, I can almost touch-type.
88. What's under your bed?
A lot of miscellaneous stuff that won't fit into the cupboards.
And probably a lot of dust too.
89. What is your favorite number?
I suppose 'one', really. Strange tho, that poeple have favourite numbers
but not letters.
90. Favorite sport to watch?
I'm not real partial to any sport. But AFL can hold my interest
sometimes, as can some of the eXtreme sports.
91. Shoe size?
Size 9, I think, from memory. That's Aussie size... I think U.S.
is different. Who knows.
92. Favorite quote from a movie?
"Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural
equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans
do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply,
until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can
survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism
on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus."
93. Favorite day of the week?
Is this a trick question or something? Friday! Second favourite
is Saturday - but anticipation is everything. So Friday.
94. Favorite Flower?
Now that's an interesting question. Orchids are quite cool I
95. Most annoying thing?
Inconsiderate drivers. Having to reinstall an OS. Things that
don't do what they're supposed to do.
96. Favorite Salad dressing?
None really... I prefer salads au naturel. Vinagerette I guess?
97. What word or phrases do you overuse?
"Ooh bugger..." - "Not too bad" - "Stupid
98. Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday
Well if there'd been a birthday cake last birthday, it would've had
31 of them. But I think the last time was about 27, and *that*
was plenty enough candles for my lungs to handle...
99. Bed time?
Whenever I get there, usually. Normally about 11pm though.
100. Best things in life?
Apart from just being alive? Experiencing love, acquiring knowledge,
sharing happiness, and having money to spend.
So there you have it.
Thanks for taking the time to find out something
about what makes me 'me'. :)